As a successful engineer, Tega wouldn’t have chosen another
career even if she had it on a platter of gold. Her love for the profession was
ignited when she was only in primary school. Thanks to Aunty Bimpe, a neighbor
whom she admired so much. Aunty Bimpe
was not just an engineer; she was her role model and mentor. Virtually all the
kids in the neighborhood loved her. She was unique, kind and soft-spoken.
For Tega, becoming an engineer wasn’t an easy task. Nobody
said it would be. With determination and resilience, she finally turned into
the person of her dreams even in a male dominated sector. She remembered all the
sleepless nights, the failures, re-sits and now the benefits of a ‘never say
die’ spirit. With every engineering qualification and certification you can
imagine, Tega suddenly turned every employer’s desire. She wouldn’t forget in a while the comments
her first employer wrote in one of her commendations letters-“…always going the
extra mile to solve any problem.” Now seven years have passed with lots of
promotions to her credit. She was very proud of what she had become.
“High time I
sought greener pastures”, she thought to herself.
And at the next bigger opportunity, she jumped at it. Not
long after she applied was she called for the written test. She excelled! On
the day of the oral interview, she woke earlier than usual, got the kids ready
and headed straight for her iPad in readiness for whatever tough question coming her way.
“Good
morning”, Benjamin said grudgingly.
Tega simply ignored. At Benjamin’s voice, she frowned even
more.
Benjamin is Tega’s husband of four years. Their marriage has been blessed with
two lovely children but had mostly been characterized by serious arguments and
quarrels with constant threat of separation and divorce. Benjamin sometimes
wondered if Tega was the sweet and lovable lady he had fallen in love
with. Last night’s quarrel ended with
Tega’s favourite sentence – “Is it because my career is more successful?”
Somehow that sentence usually drove Benjamin really mad and then he would leave
the house in anger to avoid any act of violence on his part. Of a truth, the
financial pillar of their home was Tega. Her enormous salary paid all the
bills. Benjamin only managed to contribute whenever he had from the once-in-a while commissions he got from his
contract job.
Tega wasn’t in the mood for settlement. She had better
things to attend to and top on the list was the interview. She left the house
without saying goodbye and worse, without telling her husband that she wanted
to change her job. Why would she? After all, she was the bread winner. This
wasn’t the first time she would take decisions without informing her husband. It wasn't going to be the last either.
At the interview, there were five candidates; she was the
second to be called in.
“Your name in full please”, and that commenced the
interview. So many questions were posed at her of which she was sure she
answered satisfactorily but a certain question not only made her uncomfortable
but also made her ponder. One of the panelists had asked her if she was a good
team player. She was quick to remind them of her achievements in her current
position as a team member but like a detective, a panelist continued to quiz
her. He even went further to say that she didn’t look like someone who would be
submissive. How very embarrassed she was!
As she drove home that day, she kept thinking of how easy it
was for her to work in a team in her office. She was indeed very subservient to
her bosses and most of her bosses liked her for being easy to correct. That is
her office, not her home. Why would she listen to her bosses’ directions and
instructions and never take Benjamin seriously? Why would other women’s
husbands control her and never Benjamin? It was like the Holy Spirit descended
on her. How did her marriage get to this level? If she had never wanted a man
to control her maybe she wouldn’t have gotten married at inception. She
realized she may have been blessed by God more than her hubby for a reason. Her
blessings shouldn’t be a reason to be rude and insubordinate to her husband.
After all, she was technically better than some superiors she had worked with
but managed to get along with them quite well. She had been a very bad team
player in her own home!
When Benjamin got home that night, Tega went to the door and
hugged him tightly. Benjamin was so
surprised. She did that last when it
was
only a year into their marriage. Tega proceeded to serve him his favourite
meal and apologized for her unruly behavior the night before and promised to
turn from her old ways. That sealed it. From then, she realized she was part of
a team and she does not necessarily need to assume the position of a team
leader to function effectively.